I'm a programmer. Today my timeline is clean, you can see it if you check my profile. You'll find phrases such as Blockchain architecture, Node as a Service (NaaS) and a progression from entry-level trainee to Product Development Team Lead.
On-line profiles are simply flat. Their purpose is to conceal friction. They turn the painful and chaotic process of human growth into a set of crisp bullet-points and corporate milestones. They don't realise how hard it is to deal with the fact that you've never been prepared to go into the modern corporate world.
The fact is, I had to discover all of this the hard way, as the blueprint I was born with is for a vastly different world.
The Blueprint: Marsaxlokk, Paychecks, and the Sea
There was no culture that I grew up in where I was taught to network, strategically plan my career, or be tech savvy. I come from a farming family and have a background in fishing, from Marsaxlokk. In a village like this, all life is lived on the basis of tangible things - the weather, the catch, the actual yield of your work for the day.
Being brought up by my dad was cool when I was a kid. We were a family of five just right. He is a customs officer, but he's also an exceptionally stubborn guy. He is from a generation and mindset that when they feel they have reached the highest summit they stop. There's not much for him to do after that. He reached his limit, he settled and he remained.
It could be said in Maltese as “Moħħ ir-riħ”, which means literally “a mind of wind”, but in English it would come across as “happy-go-lucky.” It's a life of not worrying so much about the future, you just take in whatever sway of wind you catch.
There, truth be told, is something I dislike about him that I also dislike at times when I feel it. It's a "complacent" approach to life, and it's something I don't like to see. This is why I work myself so hard today. I feel like I am constantly fighting against myself, because I don't want to reach a limit and not go any further like he did. Joining the waves of his wake taught me another way to live that I don't care for at this time, nor do I believe that I ever will. I’m not this type of guy.
But, as I've gotten older, I have made an effort to put myself in his shoes. I do respect my dad, and what he did for us. I think it was less than I could have wished for, but I have realised that it may have been the greatest he could have offered.
That was the reason why I was left to carry the daily burden of living on my mother's shoulders.
For God knows many a year, she was my rock. If you met her, you’d see an extremely shy, reserved woman, always worrying about what other people think. However, there's a strength in her that is unfathomable and there's no one who can break her. She did what she had to do, regardless of the consequences.
I vividly recall all the school mornings of chaos. The school bus would be right in front of the house and she'd be waving at me yelling to come out of bed while I'm frantically trying to put on my school tie as I'm trying to get out the door.
She tried her best to keep us afloat. She sold anything she could, had part-time jobs, and changed her job hundreds of times to "make ends meet. As an older woman (most of her life as a housewife) she returned to school and became a qualified child carer – all the way from the back of the classroom. She was a single mother with two children on a shoestring budget, but whenever she didn't have enough money, she would give me some anyway.
She was by no means a bright academic, but her achievements were remarkable. It takes special genius to turn nothing into so much. I have always been, am, and will continue to be her hero. Yes, if it were not for her I would not be here today.
My grandfather, however, was the other constant presence in my life, beside her.
He was a man shaped by long days of hard manual work—he was a fisherman and a farmer. He was the father figure that I needed for most of my childhood, and that guy is the man that I aspire to the most. He was the sweetest soul to walk this earth who was always attempting to find a way to make everyone laugh, smile or feel happy, sometimes at his own expense. I learned to care for others while growing up under his tutelage, although I did not know how to do that in the real world until much later.
Outside of my home I was a mess.
I, myself, was never a people's choice. No one has to teach you how to behave like a gentleman or lady in the office or polite company in a fishing village. I was abrasive. I was not very social. I wasn't aware of the unwritten rules of engagement. I told them what I said, what I needed to say, and did what I needed to do in order to get what I wanted. I was raw nerve, not the player of the world.
That same stubbornness was transferred to my education. I was failing all of my subjects from the start of secondary school. I just didn't feel caring. However, that's when it changed. I made up my mind to be interested in what was going on in the class. To the point where I stubbornly refused to do a single homework, but just by listening, I turned my grades completely upside down, from straight A's and B's.
Later I did post secondary school to earn my diploma. I went on to my Bachelor's Degree but I never completed it. I dropped out. I was able to sit in those lecture rooms and realise that I was ahead of the coursework and ahead of the topics. I did not want to wait for a piece of paper to tell me that I'm ready. I wanted to run.
So I went to work in the business. And then immediately ran smack dab into a wall.
Unlearning the Friction: The Buddy Years
My first job is the most difficult thing that I've ever had to do. That's five years I've been working, and I keep coming to the same conclusion: I was never equipped for modern life.
If you're a man who grew up with a survival and a work ethic, the corporate world is a place of total strangers. I didn't have the words, the control, the finesse to maneuver in a team. This job was not only about learning to code, it was about de-programming, failure, working long hours, and being extremely focused. When I would trip, I would repeat this idea: “If you want it badly enough, you'll do anything to achieve it.”
Then I went to Buddy. I spent three and a half years there, starting from a raw trainee to becoming a Product Lead. In terms of the paper, it is indeed a success story. In fact, it was an emotional crucible.
I was burned at that fire. It was extremely dry, to the bone—take your pick of the words—it was a whole lot! It wasn't a management problem, however. Nothing wrong with my managers or my bosses, ever. Each job comes with its own set of stressors, but Buddy was unique... because of the magnitude of the ambition. There we did what was impossible. It was a high-stakes, fast paced world it was and it was a world suited for a man like me, who only knows how to run at full speed.
In the middle of all that pressure cooker I found two people to be my true idols, the CTO himself and his PA.
The CTO was not a man who had never got anywhere in his life, but a man who had created everything he touched, purely for the desire to help others and solve problems. Which is why his PA, who was a woman as refined as she could be, and masterful in navigating the corporate world was the most refined/powerful person I'd ever compared myself to, and I felt a clueless child if I ever did. I got an incalculable amount of knowledge from both of them. However, it wasn't only professional advice, they took care of me like it was family. In some cases it was actually like a family.
My character was completely changed and brutalized in order to survive this crucible of life. I needed to work through some pretty gross-in-the-guts fighty parts that I'd been wearing blindly for years and unlearn years of deep-rooted defensiveness towards humans. You grow up to believe that you must struggle for everything, so you make every encounter a battle. This attitude exhausted me and during the transition I have injured people. In retrospect, I'm aware that I owe it to certain colleagues to have been kinder to them. In the end, everybody's a genius.
I am very grateful to the CTO and his PA to have been there with me during that transition! Fingers crossed that my hard work and effort was sufficient to thank them in the end at Buddy.
It was a painful, beautiful time that taught me the greatest lesson of my life: success is not about certification, not about titles or not about papers. It is a true connection that truly makes a product move. It's the fuel that keeps you working to become a better developer, a better leader, and a better collaborator. It's the one most critical component of your career, and your life!
The Hike Continues
The Hike takes a turn, this time traveling through the world of blockchain and the Degree.
So here I am, almost a year and a half into my next chapter. I chose to venture into a space of learning—Blockchain—for the most part was extremely intimidating and difficult for me to grasp. I wanted to go back to the trainee, and teaching myself from the beginning. I am getting to learn from some of the brightest minds in the Node as a Service (NaaS) space and I really couldn't be happier. You will take a long time to develop the mental stillness to be able to stand back and see yourself, where you are going, and what you are working towards.
In part, this has made me realise that it is time to remove a few of my old stubbornnesses. Recently I started learning for my BSc (Hons) in Computing and IT Practice at Arden University. I've been saying all along that I don't need the traditional path, but it's time to properly shape my own technical vocabulary. Sure, a piece of paper is just, of course, a piece of paper—but how marvelous it would be to someday be the "Doctor from Marsaxlokk"? Perhaps that is all the hype, I don't know.
Being in a full-time position in Web3 while attending school on a part-time basis is a lot of pressure, but it's the ideal way to get both schoolwork and real-world, practical application in one’s hands.
Yet, as I delve deeper into the abstract and technologically advanced realm, I can't help but continue to reflect on my grandfather more than ever. He's still around, the sweetest man that has blessed this earth, but the only thing that truly makes me sad right now about my career is that I don't see him as much as I want to. Now in 2026, the challenge isn't always the code or the architecture, it's discovering a balance between a demanding profession and the relatives that constructed me. Perhaps it should be a future blog post all on its own.
When I have to over deliver on a project deadline, and burn so many sleepless nights at the keyboard, I am reminded of his work ethic. He was the one who burned himself out to care for and make smile the people around him. Now I know that I have the same characteristics—good and bad. The hustle is not only about “card up”, it's about “service”.
I am beginning this trek right now as it's not yet over. This is not a celebration of the success; this is a continuous journey of learning and development, but more essentially a journey of growth as a person.
Great minds abound in the tech industry, but human elements are frequently overlooked. The next step for me is to put the person back in the product. I want to make good tech, but I want to do it how my grandfather always taught me to do it: by showing up, doing the hard work, and putting a smile on people's faces.
Now, as for the man who started it all, I want to end this first chapter with a promise, and a glass held high.
Thanks, Nannu Ċensu. This is the long hike for you!